Sunday, February 27, 2011

Loving the Unlovable

In every life, there is at least one person who is difficult to love.  I recognized this first as a child, when I had a relative who was an overbearing man, and hard to love.  He was a smoker and a drinker, something I disliked, and he made me uncomfortable.  It was not only me who was uncomfortable either, but also my siblings and even the other adults who knew him.  As I got older, I realized that the Lord always places those difficult to love people in our path.  I used to believe that it was so that we could shine our lights for them, but I have come to learn that it is really for us, to soften us and to make us more Christ like, because Jesus truly loved the unlovable in society.

As believers, Christ calls us to love.  I John 3:18 says, "Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth."  With actions and in truth.  Humph.  That means I have to do something and that I have to stay true to who I claim to be. That is a hard call, because it is much easier to think our "goodness" is a light for those poor lost souls around us.  The truth is, that with that attitude, I am living in sin, this sin of pride.  I have no claim to goodness, and no reason to be proud.  I am just like my overbearing relative if I think I am better than others or that, in myself, I know goodness.  I only know goodness because of the Grace of God, through Christ.  That should make me humble, not proud.  And a humble person realizes her lost and sad condition, the Grace that saved her in the midst of that condition, and then desires to serve others out of that humility, not because she is better, but because she too should still be lost.

As followers of Christ, he reminds us in the Beattitudes, "You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous."  Matthew 5:43-45. He reminds us that we get rain too, that we are not exempt from the pain and sin of this world, only forgiven.  As his followers, we are to love our enemies, even those who persecute us, so that we may be children of our Father in heaven.  But oh, how can I do this?  It is so difficult to love that annoying person, but even more difficult to love the one who attacks us.  I know.  I have experienced this, and I wanted to hold a grudge against the person who caused me so much trouble.  However, within me resides the Holy Spirit, and He convicts me of that sin of holding on to wrong doing against me.  He propels me to action and to forgiveness, even when I try to ignore the Spirit within me.  He gently nudges, or loudly shouts, until I listen and move toward the Godly behavior of reconciliation or forgiveness.  That doesn't mean I have to be best buds with that person, just that I must act as Christ calls me to act. Loving an unlovable person is not easy, and in my own strength, I cannot do it. That is just the time God's abundant Grace takes over and I see myself  for what I really am, not any better than the person who has hurt me. It takes time, but forgiveness comes, through Christ not through me.


Christ calls us to love our neighbors, to love our enemies, and to love our brothers.  Brothers are other believers.  I have known a few unlovable believers, too.  Well, not exactly unlovable, but difficult to love.  You know, the folks who can never be wrong, who judge others, or spread ugly rumors in the church.  The ones who seem to enjoy stirring up trouble.  These are difficult people to love sometimes, and I catch myself questioning their motives and their faith.  Watch out!  That is dangerous ground, because I am setting myself up as the judge of my brother. Only God can judge our hearts.  We can look at the actions of our brothers and sisters and see that an action is not Godly, then we can, IN LOVE and in private, speak gently to that person after much prayer, but we cannot judge his or her heart.  God calls each of us into His body, the Church, for a purpose, even those unlovable folks, and it is our job to love them as Christ would love them.  This is our witness to the world, Jesus says in John 13:34-35,   34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” If we want the world to know we are His disciples, then we must love each other in a supernatural way, through the power of the Holy Spirit.


So, what does that mean?  I have to love with actions and in truth, and in a supernatural way?  Wow!  How can I possibly do this?  The answer is, I cannot.  Only Christ can do this through me when I am submitted to him and living in His Spirit.  Oh, how I fail at this!  Each day, I am trying to love through my actions, to be truthful to who I am called to be and to what I say I believe, but when I encounter that unlovable person, I often respond in my flesh instead of seeing the person through Christ's eyes.  I believe this is why Jesus tells us the way is narrow and few will follow it.  We have a hard time "dying to self" and letting Christ lead us in His righteous path, all the while remembering that we do not deserve this great love and salvation He gives us. Each day, I have to focus on Him and allow my selfish self to be "crucified" so that I can live in the new self of Christ within me.  And I do not do this well each day.  But, I am working on it.  I am trying to submit to what Christ would have me be, and when I fail, the Holy Spirit never fails to reveal that to me so that I can be broken for my failure, ask forgiveness with a contrite attitude, and try again.  I pray that Christ continues to show me how to love the unlovable, how to forgive the unforgivable, and how to become more like Him everyday. As He places these people in my life, I know he is refining me, teaching me, and that it is all about fixing me, and not at all about me fixing them. Christ already loves them, just the way they are, and thankfully, He loves me just as I am too.

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